You may or may not ever get to read this. But nonetheless I'd write it anyway.
This is for you, who made my days shine like the big blue sky.
You were as sure as day and as peaceful as night.
This is for you, who always found a way to make my heart smile.
Even in the darkest of dawns and the loneliest hours.
To you, who in my great days, made everything the best.
You bring out my best.
You came into my life, one day when I was sad.
He wasn't worth tears. They all weren't my fears.
But you were. And I cried every night.
But not the day. The days you made me glad.
Then you left me, one day, you made me sad.
This is not about them. This is us.
I was the one who lacked trust?
I want you to understand, I loved you with everything I had.
Each time you made me feel bad,
You took away pieces I worked to had.
Dear you.
One day you were all I ever had.
You didn't know. Because I'll never let you know.
I worked hard not to make you center.
How foolish of me. You always were.
I hate men.
Because I saw how they're ego driven.
They thought being truly loved by women would make them superior even.
I'm telling you.
There's much more to love than the ideals.
Learn to believe in the superficial.
Loving someone with all I am is the only way I know how to love.
If I was loved like this, I would be blessed.
Men will think the woman is whipped.
Such bullshit you have.
Dedication is being whipped.
Adoration is being obssessed.
Passion is being dramatic.
Your mind is feeble.
One day maybe you'd find someone, just like he did.
Maybe it wouldn't be me, because for him I wasn't.
But you'll see her. You'll know.
The way someone would laugh would intoxicate.
The way their eyes shine in the dark would make you go crazy before closing yours.
When that happens, I pray, oh I dearly pray she doesn't break your heart.
Because it ruins people. It ruins your soul.
I hope you wouldn't ever know.
Sometimes I wonder if I pushed you away too far.
But sometimes I wonder if you just never even planned to stay near.
And also please know that if you really did, you would've tried.
Like I did every night.
I'm entering a chapter where my past wouldn't matter.
I'm leaving you there. Don't hate me.
I have to move forward.
Although I always wished I would with you.
But I was told some people cannot go where I'm being taken next.
Because they don't want to probably.
But nonetheless, thank you.
I appreciate everything you did for me and me alone.
But yeah, life does go on.
I'm changing from now on.
I'm not gonna be the same person.
I hope you don't look for her. Please don't look for her. She's safe now.
Be happy. Live.
Denzel x
